Necessary evil has been vindicated...

I've got a new computer at work!

Maybe my team leader has heard the gnashing of teeth each time I hit a problem with the old one.

It's an Acer V5700GX.

• P4 3GHz with Hyper Threading
• 1GB DDRII DDR553 Hynix
• 250GB SATA HDD
• DVD/CD-R/W combo
• Black/silver USB keyboard
• Logitech USB Optical Mouse
• 17 LCD Monitor!!!

I am so so so jealous of myself.
This is so so so much better than the PC I have at home.

"More rice please"

It's not uncommon to hear those words from Bart. He has a VERY healthy appetite.

But when Lisa said those words at the dinner table tonight, we were pleasantly surprised.
It was the first time that she has ever asked for a second helping.

She hasn't been eating well lately. Even at breakfast, she eats around the sultanas in her bowl of Sultana Bran. And veges are still an issue. Last night we added snow peas and celery to the list of blacklisted greens. Even when they are well concealed within a spoonful of rice, Lisa still manages to identify and eject even the smallest pieces.
So it was a double surprise tonight when she asked for more rice AND more spinach. Woohoo! My daughter's not a meatetarian!

Marge is convinced that Lisa has just finished teething again.
That would explain the acts of terror that she's inflicted recently.
But over the last few days she has been happier, and has been sleeping better.
Hopefully this means that our angel is back!

She walks among us...

Maggie is starting to really enjoying walking.
I think she may prefer this mode of transport to crawling.
Still needs to learn how to handle corners and turns though.

Watch tonight's video. (~700kb)
Apologies for the darkishness!

Free video hosting, video codes at www.vidiLife.com

The Broadband Generation

Today's kids really are the broadband generation.

• Everything they want, must be done immediately.
• They want to see results, now.
• "Wait", does not factor into their vocabulary.
• If you ask them to do something, sometimes your request won't get through their firewall.
• If you give them an answer they don't like, they'll treat it like a 502 or 404 and keep hitting 'Refresh' until their additional requests yield results.
• They will look at you funny if you pick up an hourglass and start spinning it in front of them.

You know what I'm saying?

Anyway, I just phoned home to ask Marge how her day was.
As expected, Bart answered the phone.
"Hello Bart speaking. Who's here?"
Who's here? I pondered that for a second, trying to think up a witty response.
Apparently it was a second too long.
Before I could answer, he hung up on me.

Am I getting too slow, or is he just too fast? Perhaps he thought he answered the wrong chat window and closed it?

On the other hand, we have Lisa sometimes yelling at Bart or Maggie:
"Don't copy!"
She gets quite passionate about it as well, sometimes bursting into tears.
Who would have thought that Lisa would embrace the fight for intellectual property and support the plight of the MPAA.
Such strong convictions for a 3 year old, in the age of Peer to Peer and Bit Torrent.
Or maybe she doesn't know what piracy and copyright is.
Maybe - just maybe, she takes offence when her siblings imitate her actions.

Who knows, with this broadband generation?

Recent newsworthy discoveries

Not quite Letterman's Top 10.
Or even Rove's: What the?

But here are [drumroll please]

Things we didn't know, but now we do

• Homer
  - Pat Morita (Mr "Wax on, wax off" Miyagi from Karate Kid) died a few days ago :(
  - Abuthen is a word in Singaporean slang. But I still don't understand what it means.
  - I can be a morning person. I've actually managed to semi-regularly wake up at 7:30am to have breakfast with Bart.
  - Two of my work colleagues are sharpshooting Zone3 veterans who could singlehandedly wipe the floor with a platoon of casual players. Too bad I found this out AFTER suggesting laser tag for our team Christmas function.
  


• Marge
  - Don't give your name to a Jehovah's Witness. Pretty soon their congregation will know who you are and you probably end up on their prayer list too.
  - Just because something is advertised cheap on the 'never buy stuff from TV, it's crap' informercial - doesn't mean that the postage is cheap. $25!!!!!!!
  
• Bart
  - Pedometers can be fun. (But we're waiting for him to realise that he doesn't need to jump around or exaggerate every step for it to work)
  - Earwigs are NOT scorpions, and do not deserve the level of scariness that you give them.
  
• Lisa
  - Chopsticks do not function like straws
  - Mummy and Daddy do not understand what Lisa's saying when she only 'Hmmpphh's through a closed mouth and throws a tantrum. (Correction: This is still something that Lisa doesn't know yet, but we wish she did...)
  
• Maggie
  - Walking can be heaps of fun (she's taking like 10 consecutive steps now!)

The kids are all asleep by 8pm! But how?!

Lisa and Maggie were already asleep in the car when Marge picked me up from work at 7:15pm.
Bart had just finished an hour of Track and Field training, so he wasn't in the mood to talk either.

Usually when I carry the girls into the house and put them on their beds, they wake up immediately. Not this time. And when I turned to ask Bart to have a shower, he was already asleep in bed (in his track gear of course)

I was stunned. It was barely 8pm. Usually at this time, the kids are doing all they can to stay awake. And tonight, they were out cold without even a whimper.
I asked Marge to explain this phenomenon.

She couldn't. But she did share some observations which may or may not have had any bearing on this amazing miracle:

• Today was the first time in a long, long time that I woke up at 7:30 to have breakfast with Bart. He is a very early starter. Too early for me. But we'll try to change that. We had a good chat about current events and global warming.
• Lisa and Maggie did not have a nap during the day. They were preoccupied at Marge's women's group this morning. Maggie had a small accident involving boiling water. She managed to bump someone's cup and splashed some onto herself. It scolded quite a prominent 'V' shaped mark on her chest, about the size of a 20c piece. But she's over it.
• Lisa was already falling asleep during dinner at 5pm.
• Desma's funeral is tomorrow at 1:30pm. I'll look after the kids while Marge attends.
• As Maggie lay sleeping just now, Marge whispered 'I love you Maggie' into her ear. Our baby stirred and groggily mumbled back to her. Don't know what she was trying to say, but it was priceless.
• It's only 4.5 weeks till Christmas!

This post is heading towards the boring zone. Better quit now, before the blog police catch me rambling.

Necessary Evil

I had to install Service Pack 2 on my XP machine at work today.
It was a necessary evil to be able to test an Internet Explorer hotfix.
This hotfix would save the users countless milliseconds of waiting for web pages to render.
I would be silently adored in the hearts of customer service officers around the country.
They would whisper "Homer... Hmmmm....Homer...." as the nice colourful flag in the top corner waved happily (it seems like only yesterday that it replaced the nice big blue 'e').

Necessary evil, eh?
Unfortunately, I should have re-evaluated the necessity of the action - for I truly underestimated the extent of the evil.
Due to some corporate restrictions on the XP build, the installation failed and then tried to back out.
How's this for an error message?

"Service Pack 2 installation did not complete"
"Windows XP has been partially updated and may not work properly"

So after it reboots it immediately presents me with the blue screen of death.
In a panic, I reboot again. Same thing.
The diagnosis from the Help Desk: My XP is well and truly stuffed. The PC needs to be reformatted, along with all those years of archived emails.

Doh! Doh! Doh!

Yep, I hate computers.

Palm News Reader Essentials

Time for some more geek speak.

Of all the applications on my Palm T3, it's the news readers that get the most usage.
It's just so easy to download all the day's news from all your favourite websites in one hit.
And then they're ready to read anywhere.

Each of the apps below provide 320x480 support for the T3. And they allow for storage on the SD card as well. Each also has their own conduit to allow seamless Hotsync interaction.

• Avantgo (www.avantgo.com)
  My primary newsreader. Mainly for my daily dose of Slashdot, Wired News, Sci-Fi Channel and the Sydney Morning Herald. Recently, they've added support for RSS news feeds. Unfortunately, the 3MB limit isn't enough, and I'm too stingy to pay for the 8MB upgrade - which leads me to...
• Quicknews (http://standalone.com/palmos/quick_news/)
  Great little RSS/ATOM feed reader. You can even add feeds on the client. Lets you save your favourite posts. Unfortunately, does not support pictures - which leads me to...
• Plucker (http://www.plkr.org/) and Sunrise (http://www.mobileread.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=64)
  This freeware combination has recently dethroned my reliance on iSilo and iSiloX, mainly for the RSS support. Sunrise is a Windows java application that parses RSS and HTML feeds and creates Pluckr documents with all the images and links of the source document. You can specify image size and link depth too.
  Pluckr is a popular open source Palm reader. It renders pages very nicely. I also like the way Pluckr handles unresolved links. If you don't have wireless, it will save the bookmark to a memo entry for later retrieval.

And the cool thing is, when I get my Palm TX, I'll be able to use these same applications online!

Hmmmm... wi-fi.....

Bloggers block

Must write.
But words fail me.
Can't even get full sentence structure.
Try unordered list - maybe get better as I go:

• Got back into email contact with a good friend in Hong Kong. It only took 4 bounced emails! He got married in June this year. Must get over there sometime. It's on my to-do list.
• Bart continues to improve in Track & Field. He came 3rd in the 200m on Saturday. And improved his discus distance by 30%.
• Bart's weekend was just party after party. 2 birthday parties in 2 days. There was actually a 3rd one he was invited to at Zone 3 which I would have liked to have gone to.
• Hayfever sucks. This is the first year that it's really hit me and Marge. We have sneezing marathons sometimes. Had itchy eyes for the last 4 weeks. Today my left eye has gotten very puffy. Gotta see the doc tomorrow methinks.
• Lisa had a fever all weekend, and a big serving of crankiness to go with it. She'd cry and scream whenever Maggie touched her.
• Found out that a friend from church had just passed away. Very sad news.
  Peter and Desma have been pillars of strength for us. They stood with us in prayer when Marge was pregnant with Maggie, and there was the possibility of complications. They helped us through a very difficult time in our lives.
  Earlier this year, Desma was diagnosed with cancer. From all accounts, the treatment was going well. And now she's gone to be with the Lord. Just like that. I don't know what else to say. Except 'why?'
  Not that I expect an answer - not in this lifetime anyway.
• 10am meeting in the morning. must get to sleep.

Postscript: While composing this rather depressing post, I clicked on the 'Next Blog' button (in your top-right corner) to go to a random blog. And got this site: http://achristiancounselor.blogspot.com/ - a christian lady in Canada!

Now, how cool is that. And this is the first Christian blog I've come across via a random selection. Given the odds of that happening, I'll take that to mean 'Hey Homer, it's alright. I'm in control. GOD. ps - love your blog'.

Videogames ARE bad for your mental health

I've always been a huge supporter of video games.

• They promote hand/eye co-ordination.
• They encourage you to think logically to solve puzzles.
• They unconsciously prepare you with detailed weapon knowledge and defensive manoeuvres - in case you ever get attacked by 'plama-sword wielding' aliens, or 'bubble-blowing candy-eating' dinosaurs, or 'turtle-shell throwing' Italian plumbers, or scantily clad ninja girl beach volleyballers.

But for the last few days, I must admit, it's become apparent that the years of sustained console gaming may have finally taken their toll on me.
I fear that the virtual world may finally be invading my reality. Videogame psychosis seems imminent.
It's quite disturbing actually. And it comes from the most unlikely source. Not even Halo 2 has affected me like this.

What game can cause such mental anguish?
The abomination known as Karaoke Revolution Party.
I cannot get THAT song out of my head! It's driving me crazy.
And I know I've brought this upon myself. Why do I continue to perform duets of that evil, evil, EVIL song?!
The melody just keeps playing over and over in my mind, with the ferocity of chinese water torture.
Please make it stop!!!!

Maybe if I share it with you all, I'll feel better!
If you want to avert your eyes, you'd better do it now. Here it comes...

(In Napoli where love is king. When boy meets girl here's what they say)

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli

[Repeat until it sears into your subconsciousness]

That's amore, (amore)
That's amore!

Disclaimer: This mental instability depicted in this posting has been exaggerated for dramatic effect.
Though the song is still playing in my head. But I'm OK. Really!!
Marge? Marge? Come back!

They'e so cute when they're sleeping

As night watchman, my duty every night is to check on the kids before I go to sleep.
Over the last month, it's become easier - mainly because Maggie has gotten into a regular sleeping pattern (Thank you God!). Prior to that, the night watchman also had to provide rocking chair simulator functionality for restless babies.

Here are some of the night watchman's observations:

• Once we manage to convince him to go to bed, Bart is quite a competent sleeper. Through the night, he'll sometimes manage to twist the doona around himself, till he resembles a giant Twistie. And he likes to listen to a CD as he goes to sleep. Not just any CD though. It has to be one of the dramatised kids Bible story CDs that has soldiers fighting and people shouting and screaming. And it needs to be turned up quite loud. Hmmm... future ipod geek?
• Lisa's sleeping performances have been a mixed bag. She will still ask - no, demand that I keep her company as she sleeps. Tonight I managed to escape by telling her that I had to have dinner, and that I'd be back. She seemed to consider it for a while before allowing me to leave. She then fell asleep within 10 minutes.
  Overall, her sleeping posture has improved. I no longer have to pry her out of the 'head down, bum sticking out' fetal position. And she no longer sleeps across the bed, or upside down.
• Despite my inital joy at moving the cot out of our room, Maggie is still sleeping with us at night. She hates the doona or any bedsheet covering her, and will kick it off each time. She also draws comfort from clutching at Marge's hair. Sometimes it really does become her security blanket. She still rolls around a little bit. And sometimes we cop a flying fist in the face. That adds an extra dimension to your dreams too.

If I was South Parkian, I'd still have a lightsaber

I used to like South Park - for the first few episodes anyway.
Then it got boring. But I've always liked the little South Park avatars that people have made of themselves.

Today I finally went looking for my own... and came up with the stereotypical sleep deprived serious looking Asian male armed with a lightsaber. (Of course I had to have the lightsaber!)

Make your own at:
http://spstudio.elena.hosting-friends.de/spstudio.html

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!!!!!

We're in the 2006 FIFA World Cup!
We, as in the Australian soccer team.
It was a match that, leading into it, we couldn't really win, but there was always hope.
In the end, it came down to a thrilling penalty shootout.
I'm not a big soccer fan. But this is really something special. Even the commentators were losing it when that final goal landed.
This will be our first appearance at a World Cup in over 30 years.
Well done to the Socceroos.

Dear Homer...

Got my first piece of mail today!

"dear homer of spring st @ toowoomba,

i have a visitor to our office today, he has just set up a new HR systems
in my web server abt half an hr ago. which made me more worried abt what
will happen next, as you know i'm a new kid on the web, and every time when
i touch the web server, i will have something learnt the moment i step out
of the room *hmmmm*
oh no, he's going in to the server room again..."

Dear Chao Bee,
"homer of spring st @ toowoomba" - Now, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time... A long time....
Do I know you? You seem very familiar to me.
Anyway, could you please lock your visitor in the server room while I think of an answer to your question.
But before that, I need to ask myself "What was his question"?.
Now THAT's an interesting question. Hmmmm....

Stand back! That webpage looks really really sus....

Not having much fun at work right now.
My entire morning was spent on the phone to the IT Helpdesk.

IE suddenly forgot what to do with a web page, even when first loading up the company intranet.
It asked me whether I wanted to save the intranet or open it.
It even warned me to be careful because "some files can harm your computer. If the file information below looks suspicious, or you do not fully trust the source, do not open or save this file"
What-lah!
I'm not asking you to open up an unattended backpack in an airport! Just show me the web page!!!!

[later, after Homer takes a chill pill]

In the end, it turned out to be a corrupt profile.
So I get that working and then the computer refuses to acknowledge my password to let me back in.
Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!
I hate computers.

A whole week blogless - here are the main stories

• Last week, some alleged bad people were busted in Sydney and Melbourne while allegedly plotting to perform some terrorist acts on Australian soil. There seems to be a lot of criticism on the government around the legality of doing so. Some cynics suggest that the resulting media circus was just a smokescreen for pushing through the new IR laws. Maybe I'm just gullible, but I'm actually relieved that bad people (ok, ok - alleged bad people) are being investigated. I can't imagine a terrorist attack on this country.
• We finally booked and paid for our flights to Malaysia via Singapore. Now we just need to let all our friends over there know!
• Attended the inaugaral meeting of the local Web Standards Group, which was co-organised by a work colleague. Very interesting stuff. And the first meeting that I've ever gone to that will be Flickr'ed and podcasted. And the presentations were already online too. Afterwards, we had dinner with JC and his parents in Manuka, where Lisa demonstrated her ability to ostracize all of the peas from her fried rice.
• Maggie has figured out the on/off button on the PC. Unfortunately for me, she figured out the OFF functionality first. Doh!
• Bart did well in Track and Field on Saturday. He's improving with each race. This week, Marge was team manager of the 8yo boys. She enjoyed it. Although she disputes it, I think she may well be suited to a management role.
  In the evening, we took advantage of the local KFC's 'Customer Appreciation Day' and got 3 free burgers with our 3 Twisters for dinner. We ate by the lake, and the kids had fun feeding the ducks and playing on the playground. Lisa showed that she is not scared of heights on the swings!
• We got Karaoke Revolution Party for the xbox. It's a lot of fun, especially the duet modes. Bart and I made sweet music singing 'That's Amore' together. Though our onscreen characters looked a bit queer singing together like that. And Lisa walked out mid-song, sighing 'Oh dear!' to Marge.
  Marge then showed us what real singing was, crooning a beautiful rendition of 'I will always love you' that rivalled Emily's performance in Australan Idol.
• Introduced Bart to the game of Bocci. He enjoyed beating me 11 - 8 today, despite whinging the whole way through.
• Maggie just rolled off our bed with a loud thud, followed by a roaring cry. She wasn't very impressed. Just as well it happened on Marge's watch. I've already let it happen once before!

Gadget Hoarders Anonymous

"Hi. My name is Homer. And I'm a Gadget Hoarder"

When I buy a new gadget to supercede the old one, I find it difficult to part with the 'has-been' device.
Case in point: My first video game console collection. (We won't count that Radioshack "20 different sportsgames that all play like Pong" crap)

• 1992 - Super Nintendo - Purchased for Street Fighter 2. Multitap Bomberman was a blast with my Uni buddies.
• 1997 - Sony Playstation - Purchased in Malaysia for the unlimited range of 'cheap' games available.
• 2000 - Sega Dreamcast - Purchased for Soul Calibur and Dead or Alive 2 (and the fact that the console didn't have to be modded to play 'backups'.
• 2003 - Microsoft Xbox - Purchased for Halo. Now used as an entertainment hub with xbox media centre. Love Halo 2. Especially multiplayer. But I digress...

And I've kept all of them. Marge doesn't know why. I don't know why either. Maybe it's some weird sense of loyalty and a desire to see the device retire in a loving home. Or maybe I'm just greedy.

But I can sorta justify it: "Well, the kids can play with them"

If there are any other gadget hoarders out there, my advice to you is get some kids - preferably your own. Or at least a wife who has some gadget-geek tendencies. (Provided that her geekiness does not exceed yours, lest you end up with the obsolete device [shudder])

I've managed to hang on to (and hand down) several gadgets, without the guilt associated with selling them. It's a win-win situation.

Today, Bart has my old Palm m130. He loves it.

Lisa loves toy phones, so I gave her my old Nokia 7110 (with the Matrix-like retractable mouthpiece). She loves it.

And I've connected the old Playstation and Dreamcast for the kids to play. They love it.

And when I get my Palm TX, I'll give my Palm T3 to Marge.
Right, Marge?

News Flash: Maggie takes 3 steps!

We interrupt this blogless lull with an important news flash.
Maggie has taken her first steps (unassisted)!

It started just like every other Sunday morning.
...the mad rush to get the kids ready for church on time.
...a quick prayer that the autodoor on the garage would work properly - after jamming recently.
...Maggie taking off her shoes in the car so she could munch on them.
Then during the announcements at church, while she was holding Marge's hand, Maggie decided that it was time to show the world.
I was watching as she took a first wobbly step away from Marge. Usually, she would fall to a crawl after 1 step, but she didn't this time. Step 2 was even more wobbly, but she managed to keep her balance with the poise of a drunken tightrope walker. By now I was ecstatic, looking around to see who else was witnessing this historic event. Marge caught my eye, and she nodded excitedly. And with the 3rd step, Maggie decided to end her performance with a graceful crash.
Well done Maggie!

(Marge! We need to get more baby gates for the house!)

Postscript: Later, she managed 5 steps outside, and I caught it on video! Woohoo!

The Brick Testament

My brother told me about this site. It's very well done.
Bible stories illustrated using Lego. Check it out!
http://www.thebricktestament.com/

Sit down and please misbehave

I gave Bart a simple instruction this evening in church.

Sit down

Unfortunately, he misinterpreted that to mean:

• throw the ball around
• run and spin around
• crawl after his sisters like a baby

Foolish. Very foolish.
The good news for him is that I don't believe in choking my kids. Yet I still find that picture strangely therapeutic.

Road rage at 120mph

This blog entry was composed entirely on my Palm T3 in Versamail and then hotsynced to the web. Gotta love technology. 1t allows you to find a really complicated way to do a really simple task.

We were at Stefano & Polly's place on Saturday arvo, celebrating Polly's birthday.

They have these motorised ride-on bikes for the little ones to zoom around on their deck. Lisa enjoyed the experience. But once she had that pedal to the metal, nothing was going to stop her. Not even a brick wall. Not even her friends.

Joey's parents watched in terror as Lisa raced towards Joey at 120mph (that's metres per hour) without any signs of slowing down. The impact knocked Joey to the ground. But the worst was yet to come. As Joey was getting up, Lisa continued to floor the pedal, continuing to mow him down. I can replay the entire scene in my mind in slow motion - which, in actual fact, is the speed it all transpired in.

Thankfully, everyone walked away unscathed. Lisa & Joey are still friends. It turns out that it was all a simple misunderstanding. Lisa simply didn't realise that she had to stop accelerating in order to stop the bike. Doh! Well, they can both laugh about it now. They've even been sighted recently holding hands and feeding leaves to a giant mouse (or was that a labbit)

You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

Marge is a bit concerned about the way I'm portraying the kids in this blog, especially Bart.
The fact is, they are very well mannered, very well behaved most of the time.
And for that, we are very blessed.
We often get feedback from other people, commenting how wonderful and adorable our kids are.

So to balance things out:

• Bart is generally very helpful. He'll help look after Maggie while Marge is in the kitchen, or out hanging the washing. He is doing very well at school, consistently getting excellent grades - especially in Maths.
• Lisa is becoming quite independent now. She can feed herself, put on her pants and socks and shoes. She cares very much for her dolls, especially Po - the teletubby. Whenever Po is on the floor, it's not uncommon to see Lisa grab a blanket to cover her. She also plays well with Maggie, helping her to walk.
• Maggie is a bundle of joy. She'll smile and laugh back at you. She's starting to get into a regular sleeping routine - no longer fighting to stay awake the longest.

So yes, they have their moments of anarchy - especially when they're tired.
But they really are the best kids. And we thank God for them every day.

Situation Normal

• Still awake at an obscene hour... check
• Currently keeping Lisa company after she woke up crying at an obscene hour... check
• Resisting the urge to open up a packet of chips to satisfy my late night junk food binges... check
• Resisting the urge to jump on the xbox to play 'one more level' of SW:BF2... check
• Resisting the urge to watch the extras on the Star Wars Episode 3 DVD I just bought... check
• Just finding out that I have a 10am meeting in the morning... AAArrrggghhhh!!!!

Big Brother

In Cantonese, the younger siblings usually address the eldest brother as 'Gor Gor'.
It's a title that my brothers still call me to this day.
It would actually sound strange to me (and them) if they called me by my first name.

Anyway, Marge just told me about this exchange between Bart and Lisa today.
Apparently, this happens quite a lot...

Lisa: 'Bart...'
Bart: 'No, call me Gor Gor'
Lisa: 'Bart...'
Bart: 'Lisa - call me Gor Gor'
Lisa: 'Bart...'
Bart: 'CALL ME GOR GOR!'
(Bart slaps Lisa in the face)
(Marge reprimands Bart and tells him to apologise)
Bart: 'Sorry Lisa'
Lisa: 'Sorry... Gor Gor'

LOL!

Bart's Blog

Bart has loved writing stories since he learned how to write.
These days he's even making books and comic books with his friends.

I've just create a blog for him.
It contains all of the stories that he's typed on our computer over the last few months.
(The ones I could find anyway)
Check it out at http://xturn.blogspot.com
And be sure to leave him some encouraging feedback!

I can't wait to see the look on his face when I ask him to navigate there.

It's "Not fair" according to Bart

Not fair!

It's one of Bart's catch-phrases.
That and 'Kill the English'. (We suspect, and hope, that he got that from Age of Empires II)

Tonight Bart asked me about daylight savings. I explained to him that it was just about setting the clocks forward an hour and then setting it back in March next year.
He didn't like that answer. He didn't want to hear about clocks, or time.
That didn't leave me with much to tell him, which made him even more frustrated. And angry.
He started whining and jumping up and down. And before you knew it, a tantrum had erupted.
And the mouth went into overdrive, criticising everyone and dragging up past indescretions.
Apparently, it's not fair that I don't understand his question. And it's not fair that I don't know the answer. And it's not fair that I didn't say sorry to him a few days ago when I asked him not to kick the ball around outside while I was mowing the lawn.
And it's probably not fair that I'm publishing his antics on the internet.

But one day son, you'll understand.
Calm down. Take a chill pill. Life wasn't meant to be easy. Just cop it sweet, and get on with it. Life's too short.
(Better stop now before I get philosophical, or run out of cliches...)